It's that special time of year again, the New England Patriots are facing off in the biggest game of the year versus another team with a less dreamy quarterback. Friends and family gather around televisions across the globe to view the most watched event of the year. But what is the real reason everyone decided to spend Sunday night in your Studio apartment in a dodgy part of town that keeps people from staying past halftime?
If you remember last years post we discussed the rationale for people attending the Big Game, the very not fake poll we conducted told us most people attend for reasons outside sport. Those eleven people crammed into your apartment were not there to watch the game, commercials or the halftime show on your computer monitor-sized television. Those people came for that dip Susie makes and whatever slop you have slowly warming up in that off-brand crock pot your Mom gave you for Christmas in 2015.
If you want to have a well-recieved Big Game party you best bring the heat with some grub. Last year I was diagnosed with a horrible case of the farts which resulted from my alt-right digestive system's intolerance for lactose. And, unfortunately cheese is hashtag out for 2018. Now that I have experienced this horrible disease I wanted to give back to the community while still giving a shout out to the land of Football, Texas.
- 2-3 lbs beef chuck, cubes or ground
- 28 oz. canned crushed tomatoes
- 2 tbs tomato paste
- 3 jalapeño, diced
- 1 large white onion, pureed
- 1 head of garlic, pureed
- 2 large beef bones, roasted for 25 minutes at 425°F
- Water, used about 2 cups or whatever it takes to achieve desired consistency
- 2 tbs brown sugar
- 1 tbs salt
- 2 tbs vegetable shortening, bacon fat is an acceptable substitute
Equipment needed here; measuring cup, can opener, knife, garlic press, large pot (dutch oven), blender and a meat grinder. If you don't want to grind your own meat buying ground chuck from your local grocer is acceptable but a shortcut none the less.
- 2 tbs chili powder
- 1 tbs cumin powder
- 1/2 tbs paprika
- 1 tbs dried oregano
- 1 tbs garlic powder
- 1 tbs salt
- 1 whole cinnamon stick, left whole
- 2 star anise pods, left whole
If you bought ground meat you can just admire the following photos. Season your beef with about half the spice blend and let sit for 20-30 minutes or until it reaches room temperature.
Set your meat grinder to a course grind and commence the grind.
Add in the second half of your seasoning and mix thoroughly.
Place your vegetable shortening into the pan and set your heat to high. If you don't want to add any fat to this recipe feel free to use a tablespoon of vegetable oil. The meat I used was fairly lean and adding fat was done to avoid dry beef.
Brown the seasoned beef, set aside and wipe away any excess fat/oil.
Missing from this array of photos is the puree of the garlic and onion, you didn't miss anything interesting, that being said if you don't have a blender chop these as fine as you can. Dump the puree in the same pan over medium heat, cooking out the moisture out until the puree is less viscous and all that is left is little chunks of onion & garlic. Add in the tomato paste and jalapeños, mix and stir over medium heat for 2 minutes and remove from heat.
All that is left to do is add back in the browned beef, diced tomatoes and enough water to create the desired consistency (some like it thicc, some don't). Bring back the chili to a simmer over medium heat and add in the final ingredients. By now you should have roasted the beef bones, and to be honest this is not an integral step in making chili but from my experience this gives it an added beef flavor without being overpowering. Lastly the bay leaf, star anise and cinnamon stick can be added, leave covered for 2-4 hours on the lowest possible heat until your guests are ready to be served. Enjoy.
“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”
- Coach Taylor