Gluten Free Trials: Cauliflower Pizza

Pizza is arguably the best food on the planet, the old adage is often said that pizza is like sex and even the worst pizza is still good.  In contrast unsolicited sex is to gluten-free pizza in that same analogy, it's not good and should be punishable in a similar fashion if served without consent.  As previously stated I am a hater of the gluten-less wheat products masquerading as regular bakery goods, however cauliflower presented an interesting alternative.  That alternative being a vegetable based pizza crust, a cousin of broccoli that I have forever appreciated for it's take-on-any-flavor attitude.  Whether it's Buffalo sauce or mashed potatoes cauliflower can offer a guilt free version of your cheat day meal.

As a skeptical person I decided to jump into this one with two feet and before producing a single blog I recreated this 4 times before landing on a final product.

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Ingredients:

  • 1 head cauliflower
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 egg
  • 2 tablespoons rice flour
  • 2 tablespoons corn starch
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano
  • 1 tablespoon granulated garlic
  • 1 teaspoon salt

Equipment:

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Grate the cauliflower florets down until you hit the stem, and if you want to use absolutely everything grate down the stem on a smaller hole.  If you have a food processor I would recommend using that instead, the downside of the grater is the irregular size if the cauliflower.

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Boil grated cauliflower for about 5 minutes, stir often and make sure all the small bits floating to the top are mixed to the bottom.

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Line the pasta strainer with cheese cloth to retain the smallest of peices.

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Wring out the cheese cloth until the moisture is almost entirely gone, salvage the last cup of liquid in case you need to add back in moisture.

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Add two cloves of grated garlic into the dry cauliflower "rice," mix thoroughly and empty into a large bowl.

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Add the remaining ingredients in and mix.

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After several attempts of placing the dough atop tin foil I realized parchment paper was the only viable liner.  I still used tin foil to line the pan however a trick to keeping the parchment paper down is using a wet wipe before lining the pan with parchment.

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Use vegetable oil (or peanut oil used above) to grease the parchment paper.  You will soon realize why more is better.

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Spread the "dough" across the parchment paper and press down firmly.  The cauliflower dough is more of a course paste than anything, mash the mixture together in the shape of a pizza or you will have rough chunks all over the joint.

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Cook the cauliflower dough at 375 °F for 20-30 minutes, at this point the edges should start to turn brown.  Take the dough out of the over and try to loosen with a spatula to prepare for the flip.  Depending on the size of your pizza dough you might have trouble flipping, fortunately for me I have cat like reflexes.

Continue cooking at 375 °F for another 5-10 minutes and remove from the oven (do not turn off heat).

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Add ingredients and place back in the still hot 375 °F oven for another 5-10 minutes to melt the cheese and heat the toppings.

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Was it good?  Yes.  Was it as good as regular pizza?  No, however I wouldn't really call this pizza.  This was more like a flatbread mixed with a drunk pile of nachos you made in college that were not actually chips but stale crackers.  God save the gluten free people...