As every dysfunctional family prepares to travel to neutral ground in order to devour a large overcooked turkey, millennials gather for a drunken food-centric party known as Friends-giving. I don't remember the exact moment I first heard of someone having a pre-Thanksgiving dinner but I was a skeptic and just assumed this was one more photo opportunity for the insta-crazed basic individual (props to me for not saying bitch). Traditionally Friends-givings are alike potluck dinners, an opportunity for all your friends who normally eat cereal for dinner to attempt to prepare dishes with non-lethal levels of pathogenic bacteria.
After years of living in a 3-bedroom closet, eating dinner from the couch and living the stereotypical post-graduate pauper life I was not prepared to host such a party. Currently I am a well adjusted less useless man (name of the blog, get it?!) who finally eats food in wooden chairs often averting my eyes from electronic devices. This year I decided to host my version of a Friends-giving potluck dinner where I cooked all the food to avoid conversations of who is allowed to only bring hermetically sealed foods and who I may or may not trust with my life.
I decided to control the appetizers and main courses for reasons that include me being a controlling white male with many privileges but also the lack of oven space. Guests were asked to bring adult beverages and desserts which worked out to everyone's benefit.
I picked a menu based on the easiest foods to cook in advance leaving the day of the party to clean and assemble the appetizers. This did not go to plan but if I was a little less of a procrastinator it would have absolutely worked. The menu broke down to; mac & cheese, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, traditional stuffing, sausage & pepper stuffing, roasted veggies (brussel sprouts, carrots, acorn squash & butternut squash), squash soup and Turkey chili.
Hot take alert; I am not a huge fan of Thanksgiving turkey. There are several ways to cook turkey that I enjoy however the standard turkey roasted in the oven for hours upon hours is a frivolous technique if you desire moist meat (I can get down with a deep fried Turkey). For a friends giving it is a fools errand to try and replicate a turkey you're going to be eating again in a few days. I would 100% say that having something with turkey in it is the way to go, and for those of you hosting Friends-giving this year here are a few do's and don't you can stick in your back pocket for this year at the expense of this guy:
- Drink ample wine
- Cook something that can be be eaten at room temperature, or with little heat, assume the oven will be full
- Bake potatoes instead of boiling, save the skins for an easy appetizer
- Take traditional dishes and give it a twist (sausage & pepper stuffing was a hit)
- Soup season... nuff said
- Invest in paper plates/bowls, plastic cups/cutlery, disposable foil roasting pans, etc.
- Invite single people of both sexes to encourage post party giving and receiving
- Prepare as much in advance as possible, the refridgerator is a magical machine
- Leave out board games
- Freeze the leftovers
- Invite cheap people
- Cook a whole turkey
- Forget to eat
- Leave before your guests
- Leave out your nice liquor, your friends will drink all of it
- Think everyone is going to show up
- Clean by taking clutter and filling your bedroom with shit
- Let people feed your dog
Friends-giving will without a doubt be an annual event at the TDM World Headquarters. It was an overall success but that being said I am open to critique and change. The running theme here is pursuit of perfection and until I have people stroking my ego to get invited to this party (googles definition of ego), all of us at TDM Inc. will get back to the drawing board.